Two of the same Man
by heavenlyXhandful
Summary: My own twist on a time travel fiction. After the final battle, Hermoine decides to go into the past to save the man who saved her life. What happens when they fall in love and he finds out her secret... and wants to go back with her?
1. The Final Battle

Hello everyone! Welcome to what occupies my brain 50% (or more) of my day. This is my VERY first fanfic (so save some of the harshness for later maybe?) but I do want it to be a really long one about 100 thousand + words. So It will be a long ride. I know big dreams huh?

This chapter is just like the epilogue, so bear with me as we get to the real story. This WILL be a lovely severus and hermoine fic, but you lovers out there will have to wait for the love fest. :D But just into later chapters.

Hope you like it, let me know what you think at the end!

-Heavenly

**Disclaimer: everything you don't recognize is mine, and everything you DO recognize is miss. Jkr's. **

Chapter One: This is How the World Ends 

_A violent scream tore through the air as yet another student was hit with a curse. As hard as students and order members fought, the death eaters poured in like rain, another two always replacing one taken down. Brilliant colours from hexes and curses flashed in the dark sky, and more bodies littered the ground. _

_I saw Lavender's body laying, twisted and mutated, on the ground. The patill twins, Fred, Luna, Blaise Zabini, Professor Flitwick, all lay dead on the ground. Their blood soaking into the grounds like radiant tears from the gods. _

_By the whomping willow stood Voldemort, whipping his wand around gleefully. Laughing as he killed more students. I felt vomit surge up my throat as I saw his childish glee as he slaughtered my peers. I don't know how long I was bent over, emptying my stomach, but each time I thought I was finished the deformed bodies of my friends drifted through my mind and I again bent to the wills of my body. The putrid acid eventually finished rising from my stomach and I straightened wiping my mouth. I immediately turned my eyes toward the whomping willow and out of the corner of my eye I saw Harry creeping up behind Voldemort, wand out and a determined look in his eye. _

_Acting on instinct I turned and quickly barked off another hex and quickly returned my attention to the scene playing out before me. Harry continued to creep closer to the death eater King, when all of a sudden the dark lord stiffened. Spinning around quickly, calmly speaking a curse and then seconds later Harry crumpled to the ground. A horrible keening noise seemed to be rising about the sounds of death and destruction. Louder and louder this painful moan rose, until I realized that that painful racket was being torn from my throat._

_I feel to my knee's, tears blurring my vision as I waited, wanting for a spell to hit me. I would rather die now than become a slave of Voldemort's. He'd won, and there was no way I'd shackle myself to that monster. The waiting was unbearable and sweat started to trickle down my back, making the tension build. I couldn't understand how in the middle of a war I couldn't get killed. My shriek of pain from earlier started to catch on as people realized their hero had died. I heard the moan of defeat rise up from the weary throats of the side of the light. They knew it was over just as I did, they knew that as bad as it had been before, it would be doubly bad now. Wearily I opened up my eyes, looking for a worthy opponent to end this misery, and I found one almost immediately. _

_Bellatrix stood before me, cackling wildly brandishing her wand. _

"_Look at the little mudblood, already on her knee's? Oh, dear don't bother getting up, you have no chance of defeating me! Bellatrix, the mistress of the Dark Lord!" She laughed mirthlessly and leveled her wand at my face. "Prepare to die mudblood!" I watched her lips form the words and saw the green light leave the end of her wand, streaking towards my immobile body. This was the end for me, I would die here, and honestly I couldn't care less. _

_Despite my apathetic view on the remainder of my life, I couldn't help but cover my face. Looking death in the face was never a pleasant experience, no matter how dedicated one was to their cause. _

_Everything seemed to slow down as I watched that jag of green fly towards my face through my fingers. Memories from my life seemed to flash before my eyes. Images of Ron fondling me, saying that he didn't want to die a virgin. I deeply regret refusing him now. My parents in Australia, forever locked away with no memories of their former life or daughter. My newts that I never got to take, the career that I never got to achieve. My life is full of regrets, and I'll never get to fix them. All of this flashed before my eyes in less than a second. _

_Suddenly filled with the resolve to see my death proudly and bravely, I looked up into her wild eyes and raised my chin. I almost could chuckle ruefully because if Professor Snape could see me now he'd be mocking my 'gryffindor stupidity,' but I was determined for my last moments to be proud ones. The green light was almost at my chest when a large black heavy object pushed me over into safety. Stunned I looked over to see Ron's dead face grimacing at me in mockery, covered in blood. Our faces were inches apart, and sobs racked my body. Poor Ron, i'd... i'd. Poor, sad, insufferable Ron. Dead. I should have been dead right now, I should have already joined Ron in the heavens. _

"_Hermoine you could have been killed you insufferable little child! What were you thinking! You stupid fucking gryffindor, WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?" Professor Snape grabbed my shoulders and shook me roughly. I merely looked up at him blankly. Think? I didn't want to live, let alone think of living. "Her...Miss. Granger," I noticed a change in his voice and wearily looked up at him, "its time to take you to the Dark Lord, see what he has planned for you." _

_I looked up to him, panic beginning to set it. He'd saved me to bring me to his bloody master. Some spy he is, for VOLDEMORT! He'd been betraying the Order this whole bloody time. I started to struggle in his fists as he started to drag me up the hill towards his lord. _

"_I'm still you're little spy," He whispered cruelly in my ear and continued dragging me across the bodies of my fellow students. Carelessly he walked over their mutated bodies, pulling me behind him. Many times I saw the lifeless face of a fallen peer and wanted to stop to mourn, but Snape (bastard that he is) kept dragging me towards his bloody master. I started struggling in earnest before what he said finally hit me in the face. _

_Over the months that we'd worked together for the order, we'd began a sort of... rocky friendship. He was still snarky as usual, and I was still 'know it all', but we'd began to respect each other. I remember the one time he'd been called away to a Death Eater meeting in the middle of our potions time. I'd told him to be okay and he said that 'my little spy would come back all right.' Of course he was being sarcastic and moody, but since then it had caught on between us as one of our personal jokes. _

_If what he just whispered in my ear was the truth he was still spying, just keeping up his facade so that he could still work properly as a member of the order. Sneaky bastard of a slytherin, but I understood why he was doing it...my little spy, always thinking in the bloody right direction. I jerked my head up to look at him and gave him a slight nod letting him know that his message had been heard loud and clear. "I'm still for the light, and play along."_

"_Severus, who have you brought me?" A voice filled with cold triumph sounded roughly in the battlefield. While I'd battled his death eaters countless times, I'd never had the privilege of meeting their insane master. I started to raise my head but a cool hand gripped my neck tightly. 'Don't look up,' the hand sternly corrected. _

"_Why, if it isn't our fallen hero's little mudblood whore. How wonderful that you could join us in our celebrations. I can assure you that Lucious has been asking for you for quite some time. He will be pleased you could make it. Look up at me you little cunt! Crucio!" _

_Pain burst through my body as the unforgivable curse shocked through my body. It seemed as if my skin was being melted down, my nerve endings been electrocuted. My eyes rolled back in my head but I refused to scream. I wouldn't give this mad man the satisfaction of seeing me bow down to his power. The curse had progressed and I bit back a painful scream as someone shoved into my virgin pussy. Coupled with the curse, the rape was hard to bear and finally a scream tore through my mouth. _

_Hard boots smashed at my ribs, and a hot poker was being driven into me ruthlessly. Screams tore though my throat as it felt that fire was being lit on my insides. Each stroke of his hips, caused shrill screams to erupt from my mouth. Again and again he drove into me with insane pleasure at seeing me burn from the inside out. Dimly I could hear the grunts of 'mudblood bitch is so tight,' along with the moans of what I assumed to be Malfoy. Suddenly his thrust got jerkier and even more powerful. Tears streamed down my face as he came into me moaning with pleasure. _

_Vomit again surged up my throat, but a cold hand was placed over my mouth. I was forced to swallow my bile as I timidly opened my eyes. Lucious Malfoy was at the end of that cold alien hand and was smirking smugly down at me. Slowly he stood up and I could see my blood staining the inside of his thighs. More blood than just a virgins blood. He ripped me from the insides. Again bile rose into my throat and again a hand clamped down on my mouth. _

"_You vomit now bitch and I'll use my knife next time." I shuddered and looked away, my eyes falling on Professor Snape. His coal black eyes bored into me, I could feel his fevered gaze, although outwardly I couldn't discern a thing from them. Then again taking into account the fact that most of my brain cells had just been smacked out... well you can't blame a girl. _

_A cold chuckle emerged from the throat of Voldemort as he stared down at me with mixture of disgust and amusement. _

"_You were right Severus, her thoughts are amusingly logical. I definitely see the benefits that she will bring to our cause." At this my weakened body tensed and a muffled what emerged from my battered throat. No way in hell was I going to join this despot! He's killed millions of my kind and... my thoughts were cut off as a heavy hand landed on my cheek, quickly followed by a punch to the nose. I heard a loud crack, and a gush of hot blood gushed into my mouth. _

_Suddenly my hands and arms were pulled taught by a spell and I was quickly disrobed and on my back. I shuddered and winced with what might be coming. A sound whistled through the air and suddenly a flash of pure fire whipped across my back. Again and again the whip fell down to my back and I twisted and screamed. Finally it was done, and my back felt hot and numb as blood trickled down my sides._

"_You will join us my little mudblood. I have seen to it." I shivered at the implications in his voice. His cold red eyes drilled into me and he make a small movement with his hands. Two bags were dropped at his feet, blood dripping out of them. "this my little mudblood," I tried to sneer that the endearment, " is how I will get you to our cause." _

_With a smooth wave of his wand the bags unravelled and the bloodied bodies of my parents crumpled onto the ground. I stared at them in disbelief before I fell shuddering to the ground. To... much...pain. A raged scream tore at my already torn throat. They... he... he killed them. I have no body left. Not one bloody person, except Snape. _

"_Yes my little mudblood. You don't have anyone left. You are alone. Oh wait," he paused and I felt him push his way into my mind searching for that last thought, "Severus it seems that the little mudblood have a school girls crush on you." Despite the cruelty i've already experienced at his hands, I had to blush as my darkest secrets were bared to these dirty men. " And since she seems to dote on you so much... you may-" he voice cut off as he crumpled to the ground. _

_Unbelievably Harry Potter stood behind him, shaking with the effort of the dark curse. _

"_You...you will never hurt anyone...ever again." He managed to say before he collapsed, and I welcomed the darkness as I too let myself fall into its welcoming embrace._

_~X~_

So what do you guys think?

I'll be getting a longer, yummier, better chapter out for you guys asap.

Thanks a million rockstars! (ps. I'd appreciate some feedback luvs!)

Heavenly


	2. Surprise Surprise

**Note: I'm not sure if you get updates for this… but I re-read it AFTER I posted (I know bad mistake) and realized that I had Severus kill Dumbledoe and then had Dumbledore telling Hermoine about a mission. Sorry about the confusion…. But its all cleaned up now.**

**If anyone knows of anyone who's free to Beta… I would love you so much! Xoxo. **

**-Heavenly **

**For the few of you who did Review... THANK YOU SO MUCH! I will work on my capitalization and all other forms of typo and bloopers. I don't have a beta so I'm kinda flying off the seat of my pants over here. **

**Sorry for the slow update by the way, but sharing the computer between 1 angry mother and 2 extremely aggravating siblings can get complicated. I'm sure you understand. :D **

**I really hope that this story kicks off really well SHARE AND REVIEW! Thanks!**

**disclaimer: ****unfortunately I do not own any of these lovely characters...and am making no moola off of this fic. All of this (that you recognize) belongs to the one..the only... JKR! **

Chapter Two: Surprise Surprise

~6 months after the final battle~

Mungo's hospital seemed to be bustling, busier than usual to the eye of an innocent who hadn't been involved in a war. But unfortunately I knew better because I had been a frequent and unwilling visitor over the last 6 months. After Harry had managed to take down the dark Lord, apparently the ministry appointed aurors had valiantly shown up and 'bravely' saved all the frightened children of Hogwarts. Wonderful people those Ministry officials, you just couldn't help loving them to bits. Gods, my inner sarcasm was particularly biting today.

I sighed as I strode into the reception room of Mungo's 'temporarily long term' ward. I smirked inwardly at the ridiculous name, but then again many thing since the fall of the dark lord had been laughable. Many order of Merlin's had been passed out, a parade held, a yearly gala had been planned. Despite its former 'blind eye' towards the cause, it was certainly trying to make up for it now. Screw Fudge, gods how I hate him.

The thing that bothered me the most was the fact that Severus Snape was currently rotting away in Azkaban, for his attempt at murdering Professor Dumbledor. No matter how much evidence we'd brought up the Ministry always shut us down. Saying that once a death eater always a death eater.' God his life sucked, at it was simply un-freaking fair that he was up there. Lucious freaking Malfoy and his fucking crazy wife were walking around scott free. Damn this is unfair.

"Miss. Granger? The Healer will see you now." A healer-trainee broke through my revere, bringing me back to my surroundings. I shot out of my seat and lurched towards the door. Hopefully this bloody time they'd have some good news for me. Maybe I'd never have to come back.

I strode into the room and sat in the chair across from the Healer waiting for him to start. After about one minute of awkward page shuffling and throat clearing he spoke.

"Well Hermoine it seems as if you're as healed perfectly. There is nothing else we can do for you here that good rest and peace won't do you at home." I stared at him in disbelief, he didn't even mention the... "You've healed admirably quickly, and we are pleased to let you know that no negative repercussions will happen from you're previous experiences.

"You've got to be bloody joking me! Six months in your bloody care and you can't even mention - you can't even give me the respect - to let me know about the so called 'negative repercussions' that you said I'll never have! How about the bloody fact that I can never have children you fucking bastard! Or the fact that despite everything you tried, there is no friggen way you can heal my back! 'I've healed perfectly' my ass! What a load of bullshit!"

It seems that through my rant I had taken my duelist pose and was sparking off shocks of magic. Honestly, it had been years since I'd actually lost control of my magic, but I couldn't care less at the childish display I was preforming in. These...bloody bastards had tried to pull the friggen wool over my eyes, they tried to get off easy. Bastards.

"H..how'd you figure that out? I told them not to tell you!" The man spluttered, not realizing that the more he spoke, the deeper he dug himself into the hole that was about to become his hell.

"You told them not to tell me?" My voice was barely a whisper as I leveled my wand at his face. His adam apple bobbed as he gulped, frightened when faced with the wand of a war hero in his face.

"Maybe we can just sit this down and talk this out? Yes, I do believe this would be best." He straightened his hump shoulders and tried to take over the authority of the situation.

"Yes, I do believe that would be best." With one flick of my wand he was back down in his chair unable to move. He managed one gasp of outrage before I silenced him with another flick of my wand. I had the upper hand here, and he knew it. I'd made that at least quite clear.

"Now, Mr. Byle," I never could get over the irony of his name, " would you please let me know why you would keep such a vital part of my health away from me. Now before you lie... you do know I could manage to make your life a living hell correct?" From the drastic colour loss of his face, I'd say he understood me. "Now, why did you ensure that I wouldn't find out?"

I glared at him for a moment before removing the charm.

"Well, you see Hermi-"

"Its Miss. Granger."

"Sorry, Miss. Granger. You see we just wanted to cause you as little harm as possible. And we just couldn't bring ourselves to..." The man prattled on about his reasons, and I made my decision. Staring deep into his eyes (which made him slightly uncomfortable to my delight) I entered his mind via legillimens.

No one actually knows of my ability to preform this (or occlumency but thats not the point here) and I meant to keep it that way. But I need to know why the hell they were hiding my prognosis' from me, and if worst comes to worst I could always manage a quick obliviate.

Now completely ignoring the man rambling nervously in front of me, I started searching through his memories quickly and swiftly, I realized something very fast. This man, whoever he was, was a death eater. I saw images of that damnable dark master of his. Many scenes of rape, torture and death flashed through my mind, but despite this I kept looking for my original purpose. Making note to store the previous images in my head of course.

Finally I came to a scene where he was again kneeling at the feet of his insane late master. He was under cruciatus at the time, but I heard the conversation between Lucious and the bastard loud enough.

"_My Lord, what has Rookwood done this time. If you don't mind me asking my Lord." Lucious simpered at his masters feet, nosy but at the same time hoping to avoid the current fate of his brother. _

(Oh, so this 'death eater' is just a baby one. Rookwood. He amounted to nothing famous if I recall.)

_The dark lord chuckled as he looked fleetingly at Rookwood before turning his attention back to Lucious. _

"_Rise Lucious. You are one of my most loyal and dedicated followers of course you may ask." Barely containing his arrogant smirk Malfoy rose to his feet, but not before bowing once more to his Lord. _

"_You flatter me my Lord." He murmured, head politely bowed. Voldemort studied his servant for a moment before answering his previous question. _

"_Rookwood has failed me Lucious, I asked him one single talk and he couldn't preform it for me. Therefore he must suffer my ire for his failure. So he learns that failure," the word was spit with contempt, "is simply not an option." Voldemort seethed in his thrown and the thrashings and cries of Rookwood became more prominent. "All I asked was for one specific mudblood and he couldn't it too me." Finally the dark lord released the hold on his servant and turned his complete attention to Malfoy. _

_Again bowing his head in apparent servitude, Malfoy dared to ask another question._

"_What mudblood my Lord, could be so important?" Seconds ticked by as Lucious obviously tensed, waiting for his punishment for speaking so boldly. When it never came, he looked up at Voldemort, only to see him chucking with a distasteful look on his face. _

"_Potters friend Granger. I do not like being thwarted, and she continues to out manoeuvre me. I do not like it." _

He didn't speak any more just stared at the wall across from him and I suddenly found myself wishing that double legillimency was possible. To enter old Voldies mind right now would be completely ideal. I mentally shrugged my shoulders and decided to find out. Moving even closer to the old snake then before I determinedly studied his eyes before softly saying the incantation.

Suddenly I found myself in a hazier, but general duplicate of the same situation I'd just left. I found myself privy to Voldies thoughts, which amused and disgusted me at the same time.

"_Dear gods, sometimes I wonder if I decided to rid the world of the right beings. I mean these bloody purebloods will be the death of me yet! All the cockyness and bragging. Shut the fuck up already!" His wand wearily dropped from Rookwoods weary body as he stared at Lucious balefully. _

_(_I honestly couldn't help with a few giggles here. I mean, who'da thought that the DARK LORD would stare balefully at anyone! Let alone Lucious Malfoy!)

"_All I want is that little granger girl. Sure she has unfortunate heritage, but together we could make something bloody wonderful out of this hell hole. I might even let her call me Tom..." _

(What. The. Hell. If I'da known that the Dark Lord wanted to be my friend...sorta... I could have ended this years ago! I mean, we would have become chummy... and then Harry would have stabbed him in the back. As a bonus for all of this I also wouldn't have been raped. Wow so many positives about befriending a despot.)

"_Shit. Rookwood, what an asshole. Can't get me a bloody mudblood..."_

It was here I withdrew from the mind of Voldemort and Rookwood, and was flung back to the reality of the cramped little office I was in. Rookwood was starring at me with pure hatred radiating from his eyes as he spat it fury.

"You could go to Azkaban you crazy bitch! Just wait I'll let the aurors know and you'll be locked away for life!" I let him rant, enjoying the way his eyes bulged and his face became like a red balloon. It amusmed me to no end, to know that I could get under this little man's skin with hardly any effort on my part.

Now, considering that I'd been in his office for about 45 minuets going through his memories and other such things... I could assume that his polyjuice potion would wear off soon. I'd just have to bid my time.

"You want to know how I found that out?" I asked calmly, cutting him off mid rant. His already bulging eyes began to protrude even more and I was beginning to worry - although only slightly - that they were going to fall out. On the other hand, if they did fall out we are sitting in Mungo's... yeah I have nothing to worry about.

"Can I assume you're silence means yes?" His face molted from red to purple in an instant. It never fails to amuse me at how much talking down to someone can totally piss them off. People _hate _being talked to as children, and I needlessly use this to my advantage.

After slowly lounging back in my chair and putting my feet on his desk I looked at him again, and man was he pissed. I smirked gleefully.

"Well, you see...about two months ago I found myself in the very compromising position of having my monthly a couple days late. I know oh freaking dear right!" I went all valley girl on him, and honestly if looks could kill I'd be six feet under. "So being the sensible witch that I am, I preformed a pregnancy test spell."

It seemed like a huge ball was suddenly wedged in my throat, and had to turn my eyes to the white wash wall. I'd never wanted children, but when all of a sudden that choice is taken from you...well you always want what you can't have. I looked back at the blushing man and opened my voice to continue telling him how I found out my voice huskier than before.

"To my great surprise instead of blue or pink, it was gruesomely black. Disgustingly black, black as death." Despite my resolved my voice cracked, showing my weakness. I took several deep breathes and made sure to let Harry know about Rookwood through the galleon we kept out of paranoia. "So I did a little research and discovered that not only did black obviously mean death, but it also meant infertility. I can never have fucking kids...and you weren't going to tell me. That much was obvious, so I decided to find out from my heath sheets here at Mungo's."

My eyes spat fire at him as his face lost all his colour, he was screwed and he knew it. Quickly I looked down at my galleon and saw that Harry had gotten my message and was on his was with some aurors. Thank god, because this crazy fuck was annoying as hell.

"So after I took the sheets it didn't really surprise me to see that I couldn't have children, but you see what I didn't expect was the fact that you couldn't heal this freaking mess of scars on my back."

If it was even possible Rookwood became even redder in the face and I had to muffle and laugh as a vein in his head started to throb.

"Now...how about you tell me why the hell you weren't going to tell me you ruddy bastard!" My voice steadily rose, scaling higher and higher until it was very near a scream. Blood pounded through my head, leaving a haze of red over my tired eyes. This asshole was going to ruin my fucking life...he'd better have a good ass reason.

He was silent, looking at me calculatingly, although I could see the madness in his eyes. The same madness that had been in Belatrix's eyes when she tortured me in the Malfoys house. The same madness that had corrupted Tom Riddle, that had driven him to a frightening insanity.

"You stupid filthy mudblood. I thought you were supposed to be fucking bright. Why the hell do you think that I wouldn't tell you, why do you think _caused_ the reasons why you couldn't have birth, and the scars stayed? To see your filthy hide suffer. Your kind is not even fit to lick the dirt off my boots, all you're good for is a good fuck and then death. You deserve to suffer, and I made sure you did. No more of you're pathetic dirty blood will enter the wizarding world through you." With that his calm facade disappeared and he threw his head back laughing wildly.

In the midst of his mad cackling, the polyjucie potion finally started to wear off and I had to turn my head as his skin started to bubble madly. Tears pricked my eyes as I thought to the number of children I might have had in the future. The thought of no children with unruly curly brown hair disturbed me far more than the mass of scars covering my back.

Suddenly the trickle of disappointment disappeared to be replaced with a sudden surge of anger. Again the red haze of rage descended over my rational thoughts and I surged from my seat and thrust my wand against his neck.

"You...you bloody bastard you are going to pay for what you did to me. I'm going to kill you for all the fucking hell you've put me through! Avada Kada-"

Aurors burst through the door and pulled me off the mad wizard, who was obviously laughing in my face. He knew that I would never extract my own revenge, he'd be at the hands of the ministry. Assholes. I felt a bit of remorse at calling Mr. Weasley an ass, but in general that whole damn system was corrupt as hell and he was only just now beginning to sort out the rats.

"Hermoine! Hermoine! MIONE! You have to calm down! Mione CALM DOWN!" I loud voice dimly broke through my haze of mad fury and my struggles lessoned. "Hermoine, come on Herms...snap out of it!" Suddenly the fog of madness lifted from my mind and I fell limp into Harry's arms.

"God dammit harry he...he..." I struggled to lift my head to gaze into his sad eyes.

"Yes, I know Hermoine I know." With those softly uttered words I fell into the darkness, limp in Harry's grip.

~later~

Blackness.

Darkness.

Desolate.

Pain.

Where the hell was I? I knew, without having to open my eyes that I was safe. No harm would come to me here, where ever here was. Slowly I tried awakening my body, checking for any breaks, I suppose that movement was out of habit. Thankfully there was none.

I tried remembering what had happened before, and suddenly it hit me like a raging tidal wave. Rookwood and his creepy fucking evil motives with my body. Tears started to leak of the corners of my eyes and I silently sobbed in the darkness.

I remember my mother, bless her soul, saying that you don't know what you have until its taken away. The ability to have children, my parents and their love, Ron and the love he had offered to me. Hindsight 20-20, and how bloody true that statement is.

A ragged sob burst out of my ragged throat, as I again morned for all that had been lost. In both my life and the wizarding world as a whole. I cried for love lost, memories tarnished and hearts broken.

A rough, yet soft, hand landed on my back rubbing soft soothing circles as I moaned into my hands. His hand ran over the now permanent ridges in my back, and yet another reminder of all that had occurred in the war. How none of this was just a bad nightmare, but a reality that we woke up each morning to deal with.

After what seemed like ages of mindless sobbing, I started to calm down and eventually hiccuped. A sure sign that all tears and hysteria were over, for the time being anyway. I lifted my tear stained face to Harry and saw the same desperation in his eyes.

"Will it ever end?"

I saw one lone tear trickle down Harry's check, streaking down his worried check. I gathered him up in my arms and that was how we spent that long night. Crying and comforting each other with our friendship and love.

~...~

_Tap tap tap. _

Oh shut the fuck up and do take that effin pole out of your ass! I'm sleeping!

_Tap tap tap._

Each tap made my head explode with pain and made me even more irratable than before.

"GO AWAY!"

_Tap tap tap. _

"Fucking fine! Have it your way!" With a grumble and a huge wince I pulled my self out of my rumpled bed and started to slowly shuffle my way to the window. Grrr, bloody windows where the bane of my existence was lurking just behind the drawn curtains. The effing sun. Ohh I stood wavering in front of the curtain. Opening it would surely bring gruesome amounts of pain onto my painfully pounding head. Open or not to open. Open or not to open. Uh...open or not to-

_Tap tap tap. _

"ARRRRRG!" With a savage yell I tore open the curtains only to draw back with a hiss worthy of smegal (for you wizards out there thats a muggle reference to a movie. said moo-vee). "Oh it burns... it burns!"

Wincing I opened up my eyes only a smigen to see the outline of an owl in my window. Moving my face so it blocked most of the sun, I opened my eyes almost completely and was startled to see Fawkes just sitting there.

"Uh...hi Fawkes. You know as much as I'd love to just chill out here I-" I was cut of by Fawkes thrusting his impressively taloned leg at me. "What the hell..." I reached forward to grab a letter off his leg. I could only assume Professor Dumbledore had sent it, and that it was extremely important.

Mindlessly tossing a piece of bacon staring at the envelope in my hand. This bloody letter, ALBUS and his bloody letters never meant any good for anyone. Especially one's delivered by Fawkes. No bloody good at all.

My head gave a mighty pound as it rebelled against my hard thinking, and I knew that opening this letter would only make my head ache more. Bloody hell. SHIT!

I quickly grabbed a sobering potion and slowly sat down at the table, envelope trembling in my grip. What more bad news could they give me? My parents were dead, as were Ron, Luna and Ginny. I couldn't have kids and the scars in my back have been embedded into me with dark magic. Taking a deep steadying breath, I opened the envelope and smoothed the letter on the table.

_Dearest Miss Granger, _

_Word has reached my old ears of the devastating blow that has been wrought on you yet again. You have all the sympathies of the Hogwarts professors, but I find myself wishing that the main message of this letter was equally innocent and full of sympathies as the previous message._

_My dear, I have a mission for you. I'm afraid that only you can do it and you have my complete confidence in your abilities to complete it. _

_That is all I can say over this letter, just in case it is intercepted, because my dear we all know that there are some rouge Death Eaters out there lurking still. As you well know. _

_Might I again point out that if you say no, all is lost for this man who has done so much? Oh, I'm afraid I've already said too much._

_Please come and again aid our cause my dear. I will meet you at Hogwarts Headmasters office whenever you need to ask questions or have decided. You can either Floo or aparate, all options are open for you my dear._

_Albus Dumbledore_

_Headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry _

My hands jerked sporadically as I slowly lowered the letter to the table. A mission, that only I could do and if I don't someone who's done much for us will be forever lost? Oh God, what is the Headmaster planning this time.

I sighed and stood up running a weary hand through my tangled mess that I call hair. I needed to get ready to leave as soon as possible. I had questions and through hell or high water, Albus -who really likes to meddle- Dumbledore was going to answer them.

~X~

**So, what do you think? Yes I know VERY little Severus yet... but trust me chapter three will intro him to the tale. Yum yum yum. :D **

**Please review and leave comments. **

**Rockon!**

**-Heavenly 3**

Ret


	3. Mission Impossible

**HEY GUYS! Well this one got out really fast because this is where the real fun begins! **

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**I have to apologize for the little confusion in the last chapter with Albus Dumbledore. I said that severus killed him… and then had him writing letters to hermoine. Sorry for the mix up.. it's now fixed. It was an attempted murder. **

**Disclaimer: UNFORTUNANTLY I do not own any of JKR work… yet. But I'm going to try my hand at pleading, begging and crying until I get my way. :D**

**Chapter 3: Mission Impossible**

Okay Hermoine, here's what you're going to do.

One, go into Albus bloody Dumbledor's office and but only after making sure I have a strict control over my emotions.

Two, do not ON ANY CIRCUMSTANCES let him start talking about your own personal problems. That one is a line we will not cross. First thing you'll know he'll have my drink spiked along with some god damned elf spirits and then I'll be balling about my poor life and he'll be roaring about his super sex life with Mcgonagall.

For a second my frenzied thought process stopped and I thought back to what I'd just…ewwww. I need a mind bleach and STAT! Flashes of white wrinkled skin flashed through my head along with totally inappropriate moans…GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HEAD! Damn, my headache is coming back. Now, what the hell was I doing?

Oh right, and three of course is to make a quick and painless decision about the supposedly 'important' mission he has for me. Quick and painless, just like ripping off a fucking band aid.

God, what a fucking horrible day for an important mission! I mean what the hell, the war was over all 'important missions' should be left to the oh so bloody dedicated aurors, not some world weary war hero.

I made sure to attach my wand to my thigh holster, along with at least a couple of the daggers I'd acquired over the years of the war. Everyone was scared from that bloody war, some more so than I, but I do know that it left no one unscathed. Everyone was affected by it one way or another.

Professor Mcgonagall has extensive scar tissue covering her face from coming into close and personal contact with a blade of a dark knife. Her scars, similar to mine, are infused with Dark Magic and every attempt to heal them has resulted in failure or her near death.

Hannah Abbott was captured by rouge death eaters during the final battle were she was tortured. During this immense torture she lost many body parts, including one leg and her left hand. She was also impregnated and decided to terminate the pregnancy. I've heard she's going through severe depression and isn't copping at all well with life at the moment. Hmm, I fucking wonder why.

Damn, thinking about life is fucking depressing. I really should stop before I hurt myself or aid in the welcoming back my headache. And since I'm in such a bloody reflective mood I should be true to myself and realize that neither of these options are particularly the best.

Oh shit, Hermione you've faced death eaters and you can't get the balls to go see your ex headmaster. Or deal with a headache. Gods I'm such a pussy sometimes, why do people put up with me?

I wisely didn't answer myself that question as I started towards the door. Albus had offered me the use of his floo, but I was hoping that the walk up from Hogsmeade with the fresh air would help calm me down and clear my head.

Quickly raising my wand I apparated to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, a place I hadn't been since the fall of Voldie. Oh fuck it all.

I stumbled when I arrived at my destination, never having gotten used to the feeling of apparation. It always felt like the giant squid had gotten a hold of me and was squeezing the very life out of my frail (well at least to the squid) body.

I took a couple minutes to regain the control over my motor motions before setting out to Hogwarts at a brisk pace. The sooner I get this over with the damn sooner I can go home and eat some more rocky road ice cream.

What the hell are the possible mission's that the old bastard could have for me? It could always involve research for people like myself and Minerva…. But I doubt it. I think he has the opinion that that is too personal for the cause and not enough for the greater good. Although you never know it could be affecting their sex life.

….

….

EWW! HERMOINE! STOP THESE THOUGHTS THIS FUCKING INSTANT! God lord girl get your mind out of the effing gutter! Sheesh, it's not like you have anything other than your hand and vibrator for the next while.

Actually for the next long while if my life has anything to say about it. The thought of even being with a man that I don't trust one hundred percent trust scares the hell out of me.

"_Gods the mudblood bitch is sooo tight! And a virgin, damn she's so good. Listen to her scream."_

_Each pump of his hips seemed like a firey hot poker mauling the insides of my tender flesh. Screams burst out of my throat, low and husky. I'd basically screamed myself hoarse in a matter of minutes. It wouldn't be long before I had none at all. _

"_Oh… god… here I come… I'm coming!" He thrusted once more our skin slapping together loudly. "Scream for me bitch… I want to hear you SCREAM!"_

"_Ahhhhhhh!"_

I came back to myself, dry heaving on the side of the path. God would I ever be normal? Would I ever be able to accept the touch of man sexually without breaking down? Would I ever be able to hug Harry without flinching? Gods, I'm so fucked up. I'm such a fucked up bitch.

Fifteen minutes later I silently continued my walk in the frosty air and strode through the new bold doors of the school. Quickly I made my way to Headmasters office. Before I even began to worry over the lack of password the gargoyle started to move. Surprised, but pleasantly surprised, I made my way up to the office and the man who had sent me the urgent missive.

"Ahh Miss. Granger will you come in please, we have an urgent matter to discuss I do believe."

"Holy shit!" I had spun around and had my wand and a dagger pointed at his neck as soon as the first syllable left his mouth. The war made everyone jumpy. This is just an example of extreme paranoia… among other things.

Albus' blue eyes seemed to lose their 'twinkle factor' as I so fondly called it as he looked at the leftovers of the war. The pieces that were used, abused, damaged and expected to go on in life like nothing had ever happened.

"Come sit my dear…. Lemon drop?" Albus and his lemon drops. He always offered one to anyone who would come into his office and mostly everyone takes one, but thanks to Professor Snape I know better. Apparently Albus has his precious candies laced with veritaserum! Honestly, the bloody ass easily had us spilling everything. No god damn wonder no one was ever able to keep a secret from the bastard!

"That's not why you called me here." I slouched even more in my chair and crossed my arms over my chest. Somewhere in the back of my mind I knew it was a defence mechanism… but there was no way in hell I was actually going to acknowledge it.

I didn't actually have anything against Albus….oh hell why should I lie to myself. Yes, he's a fucking brilliant teacher and wizard but the ass used us as pawns that could be spared. Yes we'd be missed but for the greater good…well what's a small sacrifice here and there?

Albus sighed as if knowing what was running through my mind and then wearily clasped his hands and rested them on the desk. It was almost as if he was taking a calming breath.

I muffled the throaty giggle that almost gave me away. The thought of me being able to vex Albus Dumbledore was just to amusing for me not to acknowledge. Aww, well poor Albus. I hope for his sake that this mission involves me going far far away, because I would love to continue on aggravating you. We'll take turns and everything.

"Yes. The mission I have for you. Mhmm…" his voice dwindled away as he was obviously thinking about something. I kinda fucking wish I knew what it was."

"Albus, yes you're the man with all the plans the one who knows fucking all, but I'm not the same Hermoine Granger that went to school here okay! Cut the crap and get on with it… or I'm leaving."

The whole spiel was said in a remarkable calm, I fucking impressed myself with the show of strength. I could tell that Albus (the annoying) was rather shocked by my outburst, but not terribly surprised. I sighed and motioned with my hand for him to hurry up and continue. This was no time to mourn the loss of precious lives in the war.

"Are you sure you don't want a lemon drop?" He said it as innocent as a child and his eyes twinkled madly… maybe even desperately.

"JUST GET THE FUCK ON WITH IT OLD MAN!" Does he have a fucking problem understanding English?

"Mhmm. You're more like him every day"

"Oh for fucks sake, who am I like."

"Severus." That one kinda surprised me, not gonna lie. That poor bastard was still in Azkaban for his attempt at 'murdering' Dumbledore. But me… like him? The poor headmaster finally lost it. That or he's on cheep drugs.

"Are you smoking something? Did you hit your head to hard? Just get on with the fucking reason why you called me here OR I'M LEAVING!" What. An. Ass. I have better things to do with my day than play a guessing game with a senile old fool.

"He is the reason why I called you here Hermoine. You have to save him." I stared at him in fucking disbelief.

"What do you think I've been doing in all those trials for him you f'ing moron?" Suddenly his eyes had a surge of sparks before the light in the seemed to go out.

"Please let me explain." He again paused and I impatiently motioned –again- for him to continue. "You see, Severus became introduced to dark magic as a student at Hogwarts, particularly his seventh year when he began to show an extreme gifting in potions. Tom and Lucious used this to their advantage to make sure they would gain hi m as a follower for their cause. They also used the fact that his home life was….Less than satisfactory."

It pulled at my heart strings (and I didn't know I even had those anymore) to hear about my friend's history and to know I could do nothing about it. I didn't understand why Albus was going over these facts with me, they're pointless, of no use and they drag up painful memories.

I guess I'd been painting the sky for several minutes because when I can around Albus was ushering me over to his pensive viewing bowl.

"I really need for you to understand what Severus went through… you need to prevent it," and with that he promptly shoved my head into the viewing bowl.

Viewing a pensive is different than viewing memories via legilimency for the average person. Although for a natural legilimence (and occlumence but that's irrelevant right now) it is strangely alike. Both are from the point of view of the person you're viewing from, but thankfully if you have enough talent (like the brilliant fucking mo fo that I am) you can switch into the different perspectives of different people in said memory, like I did before with Rookwood and Voldie.

_(It took only a moment for me to realize just where Dumbledore had sent me, that ruddy asshole. Here I was in the middle of a bloody revel. Ya fucking who. I looked around silently, finding it hard not to listen to my instincts to hide and or run for the hills. There was no way anyone in this memory could hurt me. They are just… figments of memories from Albus' mind. _

_Great, just fucking great, here comes the moldy voldie king of the ass eaters. Just who I wanted to see)_

"_My loyal followers, tonight we are here to welcome your newest brother. Yes, he is extremely young but also extremely valuable. I am placing him under Lucious' wing, to guide and instruct him for the time being._

_But perhaps I'm being rash, this new brother hasn't even taken his mark yet. I call you forward Severus Snape!" _

_(Out of the mist strode the tall and erect body of my professor, although several years younger. The lines and scars that mar his body now, even that wretched tattoo, still aren't on his skin. This was his last moment of true innocence.)_

"_Kneel before your Lord Severus."_

_(Snape crawled forward and softly, reverently kissed the bottom of Voldies robes. Bile was quickly rising in my throat and I fleetingly wondered what would happen to the stuff that came up in a memory?)_

"_Rise." _

_(I watched as my professor rose and bravely bared his arm for his brand. The tattoo that would spiritually link him to his master, and would cause him so much pain and suffering in his life. It never brought him the power or happiness that he was expecting. The tip of Voldies wand came down and brutally pushed down into Snape's arm. _

_Strong magic was at work here, I could feel the static in the air. The darkness, its glee at having yet another slave to its will shrieked with joy as Snape's blood collided in the air the Voldies. This was a very old obviously very powerful blood bonding. Shit Snape what the hell did you get yourself into you fucker?)_

"_Ssssssseverus you are sssstrong. Yessss Ssssssseverussss you have great potentaial!" _

_(Voldie pulled his wand away, and Snape swayed, weak from the amount of energy he'd just used up fighting the pain. Almost unbidden my feet carried me over to him, to reach out and help him. Unfortunately (or fortunately unless I want to be dead mudblood meat) I passed right through him. Reminding me that I was only viewing this memory, not an actual participant._

_Severus remained rod straight for several moments, regaining control over his body. This was a crucial point obviously, anyone could see it. If he showed weakness now, he would be the scapegoat and punching bag for the rest of 'the brothers'. If he stood strong and brave, he'd be respected and have a better chance at moving up in the Dark Lords favour. _

_Even to me, the used to be innocent of a mudblood knew this. You don't show weakness to the Dark Lord, unless it will benefit you.) _

"_My Lord I am honoured that you speak so highly of me. Thank you for bestowing this gift on my person. I assure you-" _

"_CRUCIO!" _

_(I watched with horror and rising bile as the Dark Lord held the cruciatus on him for an abnormally long time. I could do nothing but watch as blood started falling down in tears down his face. _

_I could see the irony of Severus Snape lying here, being tortured and crying tears of blood. The Jesus that muggles speak of had the same symptoms, just hours before his death. He died to save thousands. Severus suffered to save thousands. Both were tortured. Oh the fucking irony. _

_I had no choice but to watch as he bit down on his lip to keep from screaming. I watched as he withered in agony on the ground. I watched, and could do nothing but watch._

_A dark chuckle broke the silence and Snape stopped his mad dance on the floor.)_

"_Very good Sssseverusss. Ssstrong willed. I like that in my followers, but not so sssstrong willed that we don't obey right?"_

_(No one answered, it was obviously a rhetorical question. Slowly and very unsteadily Severus rose to his feet)_

"_Now, we need to welcome our brother with a bang hmm? A little show perhaps? Bring out the bitches."_

_(Severus was still unsteady on his feet, but he was still quite aware with his sharp mind. A look of distaste crossed his features breifully before setting into a look of excitement and glee. I couldn't' tell if he was acting or not, I couldn't help but hope it was the second option)_

"_Ssseverus, here is your bitch. Put on a show for us." _

"_With all due respect my Lord, but I think that this is a honour more deserving of maybe one of the higher Death Eaters?" _

_(Everyone, including myself, winced at the thinly veiled disgust hiding in Severus' voice. Only in the group for half an hour and already smart mouthing. Shit boy, what the hell are you thinking? Apparently Voldie was thinking along the same lines as the rest of us.)_

"_You dare to refuse such a gift?"_

"_Never my Lord, I am honoured, but perhaps it should go to one more deserving?"_

_(Severus was again hit with the cruciatus. This time I couldn't watch)_

"_You will give us a ssssshow. I want you to fuck this mudblood biiiitch so harrrd her blood is ssstaining the floor and your thighsss. Isss that clear Sssssseverussss?"_

"_Yes my Lord." _

_(Severus walked, stumbling slightly, to the girl. I was startled to see an almost twin like image of myself naked, bound and gagged on the dirty floor of the room. Wild hair was matted around her head and down her back in waves, and her body was covered head to toe in dirt and dried blood. Although without her second skin of filth, you could tell she was a fair girl with the odd freckles. _

_Bright green eyes stared out of her dirty face. One of the most prominent differences between us. I walked closer to her so I would hear when Snape was muttering under his breath)_

"_Dammit Severus get this under control. No, you don't want her… but her eyes are like Lily's. Think of her to get hot… and then forget. Forget everything and anything about her…she can't be a part of your world anymore"_

_(Shit. The only Lily at Hogwarts then was Harry's mum. SNAPE had the HOTS for HARRY'S mum. Strangely that thought wasn't as disgusting as it should have been._

_I watched as Snape strode up even closer to the girl and with a flick of his wand had her spread out on the floor, gag still in her mouth. Slowly, hypnotizing in his sever concentration Severus slowly walked around the terrified girl. Suddenly his foot jerked out and he kicked her. _

_And he kicked her over and over. In the head, stomach, ribs, legs, crotch, ass, tits, arms. Anywhere you can think of, he hit. _

_Then he conjured a whip that had small metal hooks on the end, and started whipping her. Blood squirted madly, leaking crimson tears on his face and clothes. Her screams where muffled by the gag, and she thrashed the best she could, but she was stuck. _

_Finally he tired of the whip, but only when her skin was in ribbons. Blood streamed to the ground in rivulets, never stopping. Slowly he unzipped his pants and took out his straining member. Kneeling between her legs he slowly took out the gag and slapped her twice.)_

"_I want to hear you scream bitch."_

_(He plunged into her with a brutality that surprised me. Her screams echoed around the room, and quickly looking around I saw that several death eaters had their pricks out and where frantically jacking off to the site in front of them. Disgusting asses._

_A loud scream ripped through my ears and my head whipped back to Severus and the girl only to see that he had pushed so hard that he arms had broken._

_To more thrusts and he was done panting over her body. His limp cock still hanging out of his pants he then strode over her head and shoved it into her mouth. He jerked back and forth so deep that he suffocated her, and that was how she died. _

_Loud applause burst around the room as Severus tucked his cock back into his pants)_

"_That was wonderful Severus thank you… know back to business…"_

_(I turned away and proceeded to empty my stomach as the memory ended.)_

"Miss. Granger it might be prudent for you to clean yourself up a bit before we finish this conversation my dear."

I went to take a breath to tell him to fuck off and I was certainly not his dear but instead chocked on a pile of my own insides.

I guess I know what happens when you empty your stomach in a pensive. How absolutely fucking delicious.

Quickly, and slightly blindly I must admit, I ran from the room and scourgify the mess of my face and chest and resisted the urge to let myself sit down for a long cry. Dumbledore already knew I was affected after seeing the remains of my scant breakfast on my face. I couldn't, wouldn't, let myself give him something else to work on and manipulate.

Several deep breathes later I again strode into the room and was met by the sad gaze of Albus Dumbledore. A gaze that was filled with sadness and pity. Eww I hate pity. FUCK IT. Neither Severus or I needed to be pitied. I needed to be left the hell alone, and Severus needed out of Azkaban and THEN to be left alone. Not to have the 'wizard who thinks he knows all' meddle and screw with our lives.

"That same night Severus came to me and begged my forgiveness. He pledged himself to me and the safety of Hogwarts and never looked back. Yes what he did that night was disgusting, but he had tried to atone for them the rest of his life since that night.

"You see Miss. Granger THIS is why I need your help. I need you to change this, change this outcome. If Severus hadn't gotten involved with Tom, who KNOWS what he'd be today! I need to save him… and only you can do it."

I stared at him, unwillingly falling towards this 'mission' of his. DAMN he was a fucking good manipulator… but I was bloody stubborn. Suddenly I felt extreamly tired with the situation and just wanted to get this fucking meeting over with.

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about a time turner… and 21 years into the past. When Severus Snape was in seventh year."

I stared at him in disbelief and threw my head back, laughing. I laughed long and hard, something I hadn't done it a long time. By the time I was finished I felt lighter and happier despite the totally impossible mission that Albus had just presented me with.

"Thanks Albus, that was really good. I never expected that one from you!" I sighed and thought about how I just got instant abs from that little laughing spree.

"I'm absolutely serious."

"Oh stop with the bull shit. What's the real mission?"

"That is the real mission Miss. Granger. I'm one hundred percent serious." He sighed as he realized that he wasn't getting anywhere with me. What does he think….i'm an idiot or something? "Miss. Granger… would you like a drink? I'm afraid my nerves are rather shot."

I nodded and put my attention back to figuring out what the damn mission could be. Already this bloody meeting had taken up a bunch of my time… longer than I'd counted on. Merlin's balls, what the hell could the fucking mission be? It must be really shitty if he's trying to lighten the mood first.

"Here you go Miss. Granger." I looked up to see Albus handing me a shot glass of firewhisky, his eyes twinkling something fierce. Hesitantly I took the glass from him and felt a familiar tugging at my navel and I stared at him in horror.

"Have fun in the past. Remember you quest."

And with those parting words, the world faded into black.

….

"Madam? Miss? Please wake up? Come on wake up!" A grip firmly wrapped around my shoulders and shook me gently. "You can't just lie around in the hallways. Please wake up!"

A soft moan escaped my lips and my eyes slowly fluttered open to see two bright green eyes staring down at me.

"Where," I had to wet my lips before I could speak again, "where am I?" The boy offered a hand, which I gratefully took to stand up before I grimaced in pain.

"Shhhit!" My back was in flames and as I struggled to turn my head around to look I could see dark magic essence leaking out of them, along with my blood. "damn, they re-opened."

"What re-opened?" Then he got a glimpse of my back. "Bloody hell! We have to get you to the hospital wing! Come on!"

He grabbed my arm and started to softly, yet quickly, lead me down the hallway to the hospital wing.

Five minutes later he was basically carrying me; I was so mindless with the pain.

"Gods make it fucking stop! Why does it never end….it never ends!" I was muttering softly, mindlessly as each step he took jarred my back even more.

"Hurt another bloody innocent victim Potter?" All of a sudden our forward motion came to an abrupt stop, and I moaned in his arms. Why the hell were we fucking stopping?

"None of your business Snape, but move because she needs to get to the hospital wing right away. Now MOVE!"

When I heard Snape mentioned I tried to come out of my painful haze, ignoring the red hot flames of pain rippling across the re-opened wounds. While I was struggling to get a visual of Snape the confrontation continued.

"Well you did do a superb job on her; she's practically leaking dark magic. Didn't know you and you're fucking friends were into that these days." So he noticed the dark magic huh? Approval drifted through the fog. He always had to be bloody right, the bastard.

"Dark magic? Snape, I found her lying on a heap in the hallway covered in blood. I have no idea where she came from." Snape must have heard the desperation in his voice and moved closer to where I was laying in James' arms.

"Open your eyes." I honestly didn't want to. Who the hell did he think he was ordering me to open up my fucking eyes. Go to hell.

"I said open up your eyes… please." Damn…he just did have to go all polite on me.

Slowly I fluttered my eyes open as best as I could, to find myself staring feverishly into eyes as dark as coal.

So we meet again Severus Snape.

~X~

**HOW WAS THAT? I personally think that this is the best one yet. :D **

**Thank you so much for reading this! It means so much to me!**

**Reviews make me happy!**

**Ps. If anyone knows of a beta that wouldn't mind helping me out… please let me know!**

**Rockon!**

**-Heavenly**


	4. The Slytherin Choice

**Hello hello hello! I'm super jazzed about the reviews I've been getting and just want to thank you all for your encouragement! I just thought I'd let you know there just MIGHT not be another chapter for the next couple weeks after this one… I'm heading down to Maine for 2 weeks with my family! **

**I really hope that I get even more popular before then, because maybe JUST MAYBE there might be another sneak update before I fly away to blissful sand and waves! Yes, I'm slightly guilt tripping, but reading the reviews puts a smile on my face as long as the Great Wall of China. Not even kidding. **

**ONWARD TO CHAPTER 4!**

**Oh! And I want to thank the newest addition to my story team Synderella Toxik. You can thank her for a wonderful lack of idiotic sentences and spelling errors. :D**

**Disclaimer: begging, pleading, crying and having tantrums haven't worked yet… but I'm still working on it. Maybe one day I'll actually own Harry Potter instead of JKR. *wistful sigh* **

**Chapter 4: The Slytherin Choice **

Shit and double shit.

If I was able to think properly, I would have been thinking of how to get out of this stupid situation. Damn it because at the moment I was in absolutely no position to be facing Severus right now. Even as a teenage wizard, he was insanely good at sneakily looking into others minds.

Right now he was not ready to die. Right now he wasn't in James freaking Potters arms. Right now he wasn't being recovering from being tortured by friggen mouldy Voldie. Oh fuck! How could life get more complicated?

I should know by now not to ask stupid questions…. But I guess that's one of the things the Hogwarts resident know it all never learnt. Oh how they would laugh at me now! I slammed down on my inner conflict to focus on the situation at hand. I couldn't let myself lose concentration now.

Apparently while my mind had been high on a little self induced pain relief, my occlumency walls had faltered. Did I already mention shit and double shit?

Severus pulled away from my eyes with a hiss and looked at me with a stony face. I vainly tried to read any emotions on his unyielding face when my back burst into painful flames across my back. Screw fucking Snape…I needed to get away from here.

Ignoring how every miniscule movement made my body protest, I slowly made my way out of Potters arms. There was no way in hell that I was going to sit here like an infant and let them continue on fighting above my head. I'd faced bloody mouldy voldie… these two are no bloody match for me. On top of that there was no way I was going to let them see my weakness.

I somehow managed to get on my feet without immediately kissing the floor again. Constant pain thrummed through my body as more dark magic was realised and even more scars were re-opened. I wanted nothing more than to apparate home, but because of the ass that is Dumbledore I no longer have one.

I was sent unwillingly on this stupid mission, for a man who doesn't and never will care about me. Oh and did I mention that I was sent by a meddling old fool who doesn't have the sense to mind his own business?

A sudden sharp pain exploded through my back; gritting my teeth as my body crumbled to the ground. Black dots spotted my vision and my head spun as I tried to battle with my body. My breathing was becoming heavy and I could feel the blood dripping down my legs along with the delighted pulse of dark magic that was slowly seeping out with them.

My vision was beginning to tunnel and I began to get even dizzier. Any moment now I knew I would lose conciseness. Another wave of pain tore through my body but this time I couldn't stop the groan of pain . I was seriously considering taking my early trip to hell instead of dealing with this.

My back was arching with the pain and I kept crying out, dimly aware of the frantic voice of Harry's dad. Every time he would go to touch me, unimaginably pain would erupt over my skin. Almost as if the darkness couldn't handle his… goodness. This though disturbed me more than I would ever let on… if I ever survived this that is.

"Fuck! Make it FUCKING STOP!" The last part was tore from my throat as a fiery inferno erupted across my body. "MAKE IT STOP!" I collapsed on the ground, convulsing under the onslaught of pain. I would take the cruciatus any day over this. This pain made cruico look like child's play.

I opened my eyes wildly, looking for something, anything to focus on to drive away the pain, but what they landed on was definitely not what I was expecting. Sadly I couldn't decide if he was a godsend or another pain in my ass.

It was probably the later. Damn it.

LuciusMalfoy strode towards the three of us with a look of glee painted on his aristocratic face. It was hard for me not to flinch at the sight of him... and keeping the memories at bay was hard. This man was the… bloody ass who-

"I need you to calm down." I started at the sound of his voice and almost immediately became suspicious. What the hell was he being… nice about? He was the evil, beastly, corrupt asshole who is mouldy voldies number one supporter.

"I said please calm down!" There was the little bit of anger I was expecting. Through the fog of pain I turned my eyes to look at him, and suddenly the pain started leaking away.

I couldn't tear my eyes away from Lucius as an almost sickly green light enfolded him. It was almost as if he was absorbing the dark magic from my scars. I felt my face loose the little colour it had. I was basically feeding LuciusMalfoy dark magic!

"Stop!" I tore my eyes away from him, and thanks to the lessened pain I was able to stand up and take in my surroundings.

Malfoy stood eight feet away from me, basking in the glow of his new magic. I had no doubt he was happy about it, but I had no doubts it would fade. Rookwood might have sealed the wounds so that the magic had to stay, but there was no way Voldemort would have given me dark power that I could actually harness.

James Potter stood against one wall looking torn between being completely terrified and completely pissed off. He was covered in my blood and had a wand pointed shakily at Severus, although I could tell he also wanted it pointed at Malfoy.

Damn, poor kid had seen too much. I needed to fix the situation without totally betraying how much power I actually had. Nothing like having an advantage over the Slytherins I guess. I smirked at the thought of finally taking down the mighty Lucius Malfoy. After what he'd done to me he'd better run.

Finally my eyes sought out Severus who was between me and Malfoy with definite interest. Shit. They'd all seen to bloody much, but then again I might be able to use this as an advantage to get closer to Severus anyways, but I still don't like the calculating way he's looking at me. Aww fuck, when did life get so bloody complicated?

Oh right, with the introduction of Albus Dumbledore. Stupid man. Stupid men actually, men in general.

I turned my gaze back to Harry's dad, thinking about the decision I had to make here. I had at least a couple options, but not very long to think. Sooner or later Malfoy would come off of his dark high, Severus would snap or James would have a Harry like explosion.

I could ignore the two snakes, and go with Potter. The two of them would undoubtedly try to get to me anyways. I'd displayed too much dark power for the Dark Lord not to hear about me. Lucius would be charged to get me or at least coerce me into joining the Death Eaters.

Severus on the other hand would lurk. He would never actually approach me, but he would watch silently until he knew enough about me to confront me. Not necessarily the best way to gain his trust because he'd be wary about me.

I could ignore all of them and apparate to Hogsmeade. Then from there I could change my appearance, go to Wizarding London and try to find a way back to my time.

I thought back to the glass that Albus handed me, and grudgingly gave the old man a nod of respect. He knew he could never get me to willingly touch a time turner, so he put on in the glass. Handy bit of magic that is… no doubt got it from his 'Manipulators 101.'

My last option had two roads.

One, obliviate James and clean his clothes. Then proceed to ask Malfoy just what the hell he was doing, agree with him and become the Slytherin sidekick. Or maybe they're queen… I'm feeling particularly ambitious today.

Of course I would have to hide my blood status, maybe I could make it seem pure with a charm? I'd have to do research as soon as I could. Assuming that this was the route I took.

Two, don't obliviate James and let him know that I was a rather not nice witch. He'd see me leave with the 'bad guys,' making me his insta-enemy.

On top of James hate, I'd have the whole of Gryffindor after my ass and even though in reality I could take all of them on and still be fine, I really didn't feel like being the scapegoat for all bad things in the Gryffindor's lives.

Yeah. Route one seemed like the best idea.

Grimacing slightly at the twinge of pain that ran through my body I slowly unsheathed my wand with a quick and comfortable flick of my wrist. I knew by how Severus and Malfoy stiffened, but James the gullible Gryff didn't notice. Typical.

Quickly I pivoted on my foot and swung my wand up to point calmly between his eyes. Damn I hated this spell… but if everything was going to work it needed to be done. Under my breath I muttered an untraceable charm onto my wand and thanked Severus of my time for teaching me wandless magic.

"So sorry but this is for your own good. _Obliviate!"_

Quickly I muttered scourgify making sure all of my blood was off of him and the ground and hastened to hide behind a suit of armour. I felt no need to hide myself further as I heard to two Slytherins dealing with the situation. I needed them to find me anyways.

"Snape! Leave me alone! You know as well as I do that this is neutral territory, the hallway by the library is off limits and you bloody well know it!"

Obviously that was Harry's dad, losing his temper as per usual. I guess like father like son, in that regard anyways.

"I'd shut your mouth James or head boy is going to have to give you a detention… and relieve Gryffindor of some of those points you have."

That was Lucius and now that I thought about it, wasn't Severus one year younger than Lucious? Damn it! Dumbledore must have sent me back further than he'd told me. I realized quickly I was in Snapes sixth year instead of seventh. What a joyous discovery to make this such a better experience. I have to be at least two years older than him… probably more aided by my exclusive time turner use in third year.

"I wasn't talking to you Malfoy. I was talking to your trusty fucking sidekick!"

"Twenty points from Gryffindor Mr. Potter." I heard incomprehensible spluttering and had to hide a smirk. Harry really was a lot like his father, a hell of a lot alike actually.

"I suggest you get back to your common room before I decide to take more." I heard some grumbling, that I assumed to be James, and some softly laughter that followed seconds after. Now… here was the bloody moment of truth.

"You can come out now." It was spoken mildly, but I knew a lot was resting in these moments. I was either going to kill my chances or make a leap in the right direction. Silently I straightened out my hair and clothes before stepping out from behind the armour.

Both Severus and Malfoy's faces revealed nothing, but then again neither did mine. I'd dealt enough with Slytherins to know that emotion was a weakness with them, a weakness I could not afford.

It wasn't very surprising when Malfoy spoke up instead of Severus.

"If you don't mind me asking, but who are you and how did you manage to get into Hogwarts?" I looked at him coolly. Yeah like fuck that information was passing my lips now. I didn't have a lie planned yet.

"I'm afraid I can't tell you." I kept my voice calm and smooth. I could tell it puzzled Severus, although Luciusseemed to get slightly pissed off.

"And why is that?" Point one for me because that was a frightfully stupid question.

"Because I can't trust you asshole." Again I said this so calmly that Malfoy did a double take, and I couldn't help but smirk slightly. I just one upped the Slytherin King. That's right bitches!

Before either of them could say a word more, I spun on my heel and started walking to the Headmasters office. I needed to get settled and figure out who I was going to be the next couple years. Obviously I couldn't be just me… but I didn't want to completely hide myself either. Or what was left of it anyways, very little of sixth year Hermione remained anymore. She was killed off through experience, her innocence was lost.

"Where are you going?" It was Severus' quiet voice that questioned me and I was surprised to hear the difference between his voice with James and his voice with me. There was still and edge on it, but it was so slight I might have missed it.

My eyes narrowed. Great more fucking Slytherin game just what I needed! Although, when I think of it… how utterly unlike Severus it was so follow someone. So utterly unlike him… that it was immediately suspicious. I obviously have the upper hand here, knowing him somewhat personally. But there was a snowballs chance in hell that he was going to find that out.

"To see the Headmaster of course."

"How do you know where it is?"

"I was told."

"By whom?"

"What the fuck? Is this bloody twenty questions? Leave me!" I stalked forward. Who knew that Snape was such an annoying prick as a kid. I mean damn!

Not paying attention in my enraged walk, I didn't realize what Snape was pulling until too late. My back slammed into the wall and my mouth opened in agony. I could feel that blood again seeping down my robes and pain pulsed through the length of my body.

"No one speaks to me like that you bloody bitch! No one!" He shook me by the shoulders once for good measure before letting go. I let my head drop and I winced feeling my back ache. I didn't notice Severus hadn't left until I lifted my head.

He was standing there looking at his hands with what could only be a horrified look gracing his face. Where his hands had gripped me were covered in blood. His hands shook as he kept looking and his face became more emotionless.

"What? You can't handle a little blood?" I said softly. The statement was mocking but my tone wasn't. I couldn't afford to drive him away to much after all. Before he could leave I quickly banished the blood to a little vile I kept around my neck. "Just can't leave my blood laying around can I now?"

He gave me one last look before turning and fleeing, legs whipping around his legs. I couldn't help but let out a small chuckle at how similar it was to how he walked as an adult. Of course he'd eventually made it a more refined and sensual (in my opinion), but he had the gist of it.

Suddenly my back twinged again and I fell down to my knees, muffling my moan in my sleeve. Who would have fucking knew that time travel would have affected my back so much? Then it seemed as if my thoughts began a whirlwind of activity.

If I thought back far enough, to the beginning of my treatment for my back the only time my back ever really hurt was in while I was in Mungo's. When I left basically an hour later my back was fine again. The only time was really around any lingering dark magic, was around Rookwood.

But then again… my back also fucking _ached_ whenever Harry would give me a hug. This thought made my thoughts freeze in fear.

"No… it just can't… he couldn't have..." I was muttering gibberish fear mixing in with pain. Did Harry not really kill Voldemort? Did part of his evil soul still reside in Harry because the monster wasn't really dead after all? "No…."

Shuddering I brought my face down into my lap and started rocking back and forth. What if all of that had been for nothing… what if we'd died for nothing? The pain that tore through my heart was worse than any pain my back could throw at me. We'd done all this for nothing! Fred, Luna, Flitwick, Ron! Everyone had died for nothing.

"HE NEVER FUCKING DIES!" The scream tore out of my throat, ragged and hoarse. I fought the urge to punch the ground and wail to the heavens. Why the hell was I here? Right about now, jumping off of the astronomy tower seemed like the best action. As selfish as it was, I could not… would not….put myself through another war. I couldn't watch my friends die like that again.

"Who never dies?" I jumped back feverishly and leveled my knife and wand at his throat. It was Severus.

I stood watching him warily before quickly wiping away at the tears on my face, mingling with the blood from my hands. Shit, he's seen me weak too many times; I can't let it happen again.

"I wasn't aware I was speaking to you." I tried to keep my voice cool and calm, but emotion still quivered in between the lines. He knew I was upset, and I couldn't help but wonder bitterly how he was going to use the information.

"You were screaming."

"Well no shit Sherlock."

"You're muggleborn." Damn it! Stupid ass pays far too much attention to everything. Bloody sneaky Slytherin. I couldn't bring myself to lie, my brain was still in shock from the earlier realization.

"Yes."

His eyes sharpened on mine, glittering gently in the firelight from the torch on the wall. What would I do to know what the hell he was thinking!

"I'll help you get to Dumbledore's office." I shied away from him as he reached out to grab my arm. I couldn't let him touch me, what if he drank up the dark magic too! Shit!

"Don't touch me!" I hissed at him again levelling my dagger in his direction. "Don't you dare bloody touch me!" My wand was now out to and I had to curse at how much my hands were shaking. I couldn't deal with this right now. Too much blood loss and hysterical emotion release.

I closed my eyes and started to breathe deeply in and out, unknowingly trusting Severus to stay where he was. I could feel myself regaining control and masks slipping back into place. I sighed in relief.

I opened my eyes to see Severus giving me the oddest look that I had to smirk softly in his direction. It wasn't his fault I was mentally fucked up; he actually tried to save me. He was my little spy after all, and he'd never known of my feelings for him.

"I'm sorry for my loss of control Mr…" I deliberately trailed off having to take control of the situation. I had to have the upper hand here.

"Snape. Severus Snape."

"I'm Hermoine Granger." Both of us politely shook hands before I needed to get back down to business.

"Mr. Snape would you mind showing me to the Headmasters office?" I tried not to smirk at the thought of him being on actual equal ground with me now. I wonder what he'd do when I came back… he would remember me, but then again he'd be in Azkaban. So probably wasn't something I should worry about at this exact moment.

"Of course Miss. Granger." He strode away, robes again whipping around his legs.

I had to walk quite quickly to catch up to his long stride; damn he really hadn't changed much.

"Snape! Wait up longlegs, if you hadn't noticed I am rather short." He looked at me in disbelief as I caught up to him quickly.

"Longlegs?" He sneered softly. "That's definitely the most ridiculous insult I've ever heard in my life." I couldn't help but shudder at the sound of his voice purring the insult to me. I knew that one day he would come to realize just how attractive his voice was, but right now it was a tool he wielded unknowingly.

"It wasn't actually meant to be an insult… I just needed you to slow down before I died trying to keep up with you. I'm not exactly the tallest girl out there." He took a step back and eyed me critically, and I couldn't help but uncharacteristically squirm under his gaze.

It had been so long since a male had looked at me without pity in his eyes. Since long before the war had ended actually. With being on the run during seventh year, being raped and beaten during the war and finding out about the after effects, no one had looked at me like he was for a very long time.

"Yes you are rather short aren't you?" He said mockingly. I sighed; I guess it was just too to ask that he would have something nice to say?

"The Headmasters office?" He smirked at me, as if knowing what I was thinking and again took off in the direction of Dumbledore's office. Although, much to my relief, at a slower more comfortable pace.

After many minutes of walking he broke the silence.

"Why did you obliviate Potter?" I couldn't hear anything mocking in his voice, but that didn't mean it wasn't there. It also didn't mean that he was testing me, seeing whether or not he could begin to trust me.

"He had seen too much. I don't know him, but I am willing to bet that he had a group of friends that he would have told everything too. I can't afford to have a group of angry or well meaning idiots running after me during my time here."

I could see Severus, from the corner of my eye, giving me a faintly surprised and impressed look. I smirked, he was going to find out a lot about 'hermoine granger' and she wasn't as Gryffindor as she appeared.

"And why not Lucius and I?" Here I had to tread carefully. I couldn't let him see that I hugely favoured him over Malfoy. He couldn't see that I hated Malfoy.

"You both tried to help me and didn't have a tantrum at the sight of my blood." Well mostly, and I could tell by his flinch that he remembered his frenzied exit but no need to bring that up now. "You were both calm, and I could tell you wouldn't tell anyone this." Unless you would get something for it sneaky Slytherin that you are, but he also didn't need to know I knew that.

"I see."

I couldn't help but let out a snort of laughter at his mocking tone. Yes, I know what I said sounded snobbish and arrogant but, what the hell, he was going to have to learn to deal with it!

"Who was the man with red eyes in your thoughts?" My step faltered and I would have kissed the floor again if Severus hadn't caught my arm.

I glared at him and shook my arm out of his grasp, wincing as my back momentarily raced with pain at the thought of the dark lord. I knew he'd gotten a glance, but I didn't know he'd gone so damn deep. How is it that I always get myself into these fucked situations?

"You had no right to be in my mind like that." My voice was low, and he could tell I was pissed.

"Your mind was open."

"I was in pain you fucking ass! If you use legilimecy, then you should use it knowing full well of the manners that come along with it! Use only when having permission to do so! What the hell would you do if all of a sudden I jumped into your mind to battle at your walls so I can look into your personal thoughts?

"What would you do if you were in pain and I took the opportunity to look at your secret nightmares that you thought you would never have to share with anyone? If I looked into your darkest desires that no one but you should ever know? What the fuck would you do if I asked you about them the next day expecting a calm, rational explanation of what you'd seen?"

I could tell by his facial expression that he wasn't impressed by my threat because he didn't think I could do it. Despite his mockery, I could also tell that my point was driven through. If he ever looked into my mind again, I would look into his mind. I would mock him about his nightmares. It was less than he deserved.

He resumed walking and I could only trail after him, furious at myself for letting my guard down. He couldn't get a hint of where I was from. He couldn't figure it out.

"Would you please tell me? He looks… powerful." I let out a bark of laughter at his choice of word to describe the mad dark lord. Powerful. I know what memory he saw, and yes it was powerful, but it was also terrifying.

It was the fleeting image of the dark lord whipping my back during the final battle. The whip just coming down to flay across my back as he laughed and muttered the dark curses into the mangled flesh. He yelled down at me about my mudblood heritage, yelled how I was a whore and slut. Yelled and laughed at how he was going to kill me and use my body as an example to his rebelling prisoners.

Powerful indeed.

"If I tell you something will you shut the fuck up?" We were now standing in front of Dumbledore's office and I was nervous to face the man. I needed to get settled here.

"Yes."

I looked deeply into his eyes and decided to reveal a little more than I'd officially planned.

"The man you saw, his human name was Tom Riddle."

I saw the confusion flitter across his stern features and calmly stepped into the moving staircase.

"Wait Hermoine!"

But I was already gone, but knew that he wasn't going to wait for answers long. He was going to search me out. I sighed, I just had to hand him a little more information than necessary didn't I?

I knocked softly on Dumbledore's door and waited for him to invite me in. Right now, he was the one who was deciding whether or not my stay here would be pleasant or not. He really could royally screw me right now.

"Come right on it dear! The doors open."

I took a deep breath and turned the handle and stepped into the same office I left 21 years ago.

~end chapter~

**So what did you think? And what would you like to see with the story? I have my ideas… but if enough of you have the same idea I might add it into the plot somewhere? **

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**Rockon!**

**-Heavenly**


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